Your wedding is not really for you. Or is it?
Ever sat back and wondered how your wedding budget disappeared so quickly? Your guests, that’s why.
WARNING - controversial wedding budget post, but hear me out - As a UK based wedding planner, I meet so many couples who go through a range of emotions when it comes to the wedding preparations and the wedding day itself. I know not everyone is going to agree with what I say in this blog but it is my honest opinion that some couples lose sight of the meaning of marriage and the celebrations surrounding it.
Let’s start with marriage, what does it mean and why do we do it? Well marriage is the legal or formal binding of two people uniting their love for each other. Now for you to do this, you need 5/6 people. You (as a couple), 2 witnesses, the person authorised to register the marriage (and if not, another person will be present who can). That’s it.
So back to the point…. Let’s say you get engaged (yippee!) and you start looking at the guest list…. before you know it you’re saying ‘I didn’t realise we knew this many people’ and ‘well they invited us to their wedding so we have to do the same back’ or ‘I guess we have to invite partners too’. Sound familiar? Ok so lets say you now have 100 people coming to your wedding., you now have to look for a venue that caters for 100 people, then you add on accommodation, and transport etc etc. The costs just go up and up and up so technically, all of this cost is for the benefit of your guests, not really you.
Once you’ve tallied up the total cost you could be looking at £18,400 (HItched guide for 2022) and that’s only looking at 6 key spending areas:
Venue hire - £8,400
Wedding dress - £1,350
Photography - £1,300
Videography - £1,150
Catering per head - £70
Wedding hair & makeup - £155
So that’s not even everything you are spending. Let’s say you spend a further £5,000 on top for cake, suits, flowers and entertainment, taking it to £23,400 (see how it adds up!). You are now spending £234,00 per person!
I am the first person to say that I love a big lovely white wedding and I’m not saying don’t spend a high amount, of course, if you have the budget, this blog may not be for you. But for a lot of couples who feel the pressure to conform to what society deems to be a ‘proper wedding’… please don’t. You do you, and if you are going to get into debt for people who barely make the effort to speak to you every 6 months., I say no more.
Too many couples end up stressed out, mainly with the financials of a wedding so my advice comes from the heart when I advise you, really think about where you focus your wedding budget and whether the guests you intend to invite, justify the £23,400.00 spend.
Maybe I’m ruthless but couples who feel obliged to have the ‘big white wedding’ and invite the people they really don’t want to, only to look back and regret some of their decisions to go for the big venue and additional extras that cost a lot of money .
So whilst planning your wedding. Just stop, and really think about who you are doing this for. You or your guests?
Contact Hayley, Award Winning Wedding Planner HERE
Wedding planning leaving you overwhelmed?
How do you stop getting so stressed out with your wedding planning?
Picture this, you are in a relationship. An amazing, happy, great relationship (despite their annoying habit of leaving the bathroom door open whilst they’re in there! - please tell me I’m not alone here…). You know you want to marry this lush human, because when you know, you know, right? You fantasize about your special day and have even set up a cheeky little private Pinterest board to start gathering ideas (and it looks sooooo pretty). Then one day, they pop the question! (Squeal!) Your dreams are becoming a reality and you can’t wait to get planning your big day! Everyone is so excited for you both!
So you google ‘How do I start planning my wedding’ and up pop 543,000,000 results. WHAT THE?! Each website tells you a different thing, one is telling you to buy your dress first, the other, sort the venue out. There’s a thousand downloadable spreadsheets so which one should you choose and you hear yourself saying ‘I’ve never done this before?!’. Then there’s the budget… you don’t have any money saved and have even talked about buying a house together recently so which one takes priority ?! (er, wedding btw) You start getting quotes and it all seem’s so expensive, how on earth are you going to afford this Pinterest perfect wedding day?! You don’t even know if you want to get married in this country, ah but Uncle Bob needs to be there and he doesn’t travel well and you won’t marry without him there, then the venue you’ve had your eye on won’t work because it doesn’t have a lift to accommodate your wheelchair bound cousin!! Your future mother-in-law keeps trying to convince you to up-cycle her wedding dress as it would' ‘mean so much’ to her but that’s not what you want, you’ve already got your eye on that Stella York dress you’ve fallen in love with (can’t she just BACK OFF, you mutter under your breath… this is OUR wedding day!).
Work is getting more and more demanding, social commitments are increasing, you’ve got an endless to-do list and it’s just relentless. Then comes the question from your friends (every SINGLE time you speak) ‘So, how’s the wedding planning going!?!’. You say calmly ‘Yeah fine, still a bit to sort but we’re getting there’ in reality, you’ve checked 7 of the 543,000,000 google search result, confirmed zero suppliers and actually the thought of sitting down and sorting something seems miles away and not something you envisage doing any time soon. Your other half is losing their patience as all you do is talk ‘wedding’ and now you’re getting frustrated with them because their not taking an interest in your beautiful, special and romantic day. Still, you smile and pretend everything is okay but you don’t want to be seen as ‘stressed out’ or unreasonable.
Ok firstly… stay calm. I’ve got you. It’s not your fault for getting overwhelmed, you’ve probably not done this before so if I asked you to go and do something you have no experience in, of course it’s going to be stressful, this is why we hire professionals to do the things we can’t do well ourselves, beauticians, chefs, pilots (a bit extreme but hey, I know I certainly can’t fly a plane!). Wedding Planning is NO different.
Here’s 5 quick tips to help you remain calm:
Respect the fact that some things are out of your control, don’t stress over it. Find a solution and move on
Take regular breaks with the planning process when you do start, it’s easy to spend a whole lunch break simply googling a local photographer (then you realise you didn’t eat your food and the stress starts all over again!)
Stop trying to appease everyone else. If you want someone’s opinion, you’ll ask for it (and don’t be afraid to tell them that, in a non aggressive way of course)
Don’t over stretch your budget. If the money is not there, it is not there. Unless you’re planning on getting a second job to help fund the wedding, don’t spend money you don’t have
Hire a wedding planner, easy solution, extremely effective problem solver and could even save you money!
After checking my testimonials, have a look at my services (aka problem solvers!) and let’s sit down, over a coffee and I’ll guide you through what you should and should’t be doing to ensure you have a blissful wedding planning adventure!! It really doesn’t need to be stressful, I promise.
Photo: D&A Photography
Contact Hayley
It's all about the Money Money Money
How can you save money on your wedding or event?
I know. Money is tight right now, you’ve agreed a budget for the wedding or event and you’re not prepared to go over it. You can’t. You’ve plucked every last penny you have for this special day so the last thing on your mind is hiring a wedding or event planner (a planner?! What, are we American now?). Believe it or not, the use of planners is becoming more and more popular which means by hiring a wedding or events planner in Suffolk or Essex, you could actually SAVE money, who’d have thought?!
So many couples get into debt over their wedding day and companies go over budget on their event. There really is no need. We can sit with you and go over a budget review right at the very start, this means no nasty surprises when you get near the end of your planning or get hit with that unexpected invoice.
For weddings, the simplest way to save money is by looking at your numbers. Do you really need/want all 150 people there during the day? Don’t feel obliged to offer plus ones either, especially to friend ‘Bob’ who is on partner number 4 for the year already! Remember, this is your hard earned cash, don’t spend it when you could be putting that money towards an upgraded menu for your guests or even the honeymoon. When you break it down, is it really worth inviting a load of people that you’re not entirely convinced you want there anyway?
Of course the flip side is that you genuinely do have that many loyal and worthy friends (lucky you!) so what then? If your venue allows it, skip the evening food and opt for a later sit down meal, this could potentially save you hundreds of pounds! Just opt for a sandwich platter or scatter snacks around instead if you really want to offer guests something to eat.
For events, it really is about knowing your stuff and which suppliers to turn to. Ensure you do not compromise on quality but that you are getting the best price possible, negotiating is key here! Luckily your event planner has the best relationships and has already done this for you.
Get in touch for a free, no obligation consultation on budgeting for your wedding or event.